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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

What drives you?

  From time to time I ponder on things, like... which is more important... imagination or knowledge? I don't think I've ever read Einstein's answers about that, but it does pose a real mind bender. What do you think? Can you have one without the other?
   I believe the two go hand and hand and fuel each other. I don't think you can have one and not the other. I know many times it is the knowledge of what I am trying to create, that pushes me into using my imagination to complete what I was trying to create. But without that beginning bit of knowledge, I could not have gotten started.
  Is one more important then the other? I don't think so, but that's just my opinion and your, welcome to it to do with it as you please.
  As I looked back over my life, I know I really loved being creative. Born an artist and I will die one. One of the hardest roads to travel. For those who are trying to write good books and get sold, they run a close second in difficulty to making a living as a Artist.
  So am I a writer, or an artist? I've  been in Women's Day magazine, the miniature magazine, a second miniature mag that I forget the name of. I finally got my cover with Doll Costuming.
 I've sold over a hundred painting which are scatted all over the US. A six foot by five foot mural hanging outside the base commanders office in an Air Force base in Ca. Painting in private collections, that are still there. Art work on an Air Force base publication in Ca. Dolls that sold at auction for in the thousands, which I made, for charity.

Toad-ally Tricky!


I couldn't resist making up this piece for a Halloween decoration. But she's so tricky... uhhh... different? I still have to make her witches hat, but you have to love this toad-ally wrong girl who won the Miss Trick or Treat contest. How did she do it? She wears black taffeta bloomers, and a crow print deep red dress. Over this is a black leather looking, net trimmed, pinafore. I made up her broom by cutting some broom pieces off of a small fan shaped broom and re-binding them together. I hear it can stop on a dime, and is the fastest ride in town. But I've not tried it of course, and have to put that down to her-say.
  All she needs {she says} is a pot to "cook" in and her hat. Maybe a cat....naaaaaa. Hummmm, I wonder if this is Miss Frizzy-bottom? I haven't seen her for days, and she has a real perchance for getting her spells all wrong. This would be the first time she ever won a contest.... So, I don't blame her if she wants to stay as Miss Toad-ally Trick or Treat!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Mark it strange!

I have had some very interesting things go on around me from time to time, but this one you have to put down as strange.
  Several months ago, I lost a finger off of one of my dolls. A one of a kind piece, and there was no way to replace it. The doll is an artist's doll of a fairy. I looked high and low and searched for several days. Since then I've vacuumed the floor several time, and moved things around. Still no finger tip. Until last night. I had vacuumed again and was cleaning up, when I saw something on the floor. Right out in the middle and just back a bit of the doorway {where I had just vacuumed} . No way could anyone miss that, if it was there when I was vacuuming.
  It was the long lost finger tip of the fairy doll. Now she can play her flute. It looks a bit the worse for ware, as if another fairy had used it for awhile, and then just returned it. No joke!
I have glued the finger tip back onto the doll and thanked the fairies for returning it. For in truth, that was the only way that finger tip could have just appeared in the middle of the doorway like that. You would have seen it a long time ago, if it had been there. It was not I can assure you!
  Just mark it down as strange and wonderful. I've had help from the fairies before, finding lost things. In Ireland, no-one would think twice about this story. I for one believe in them.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Fall is here!









This is the first year my trees didn't get frost bit before they could change color. And they are doing a wonderful job this year. Everyone has a favorite time of year, and mine is fall. It seems as if the earth is saying good-by as it slowly goes to sleep till spring. The play of colors are at their best. A riot of color, like no other time as if it was the last hooray for the year. I hope you enjoy the picture, I sure am enjoying the real thing. From a Burr Oak to an Aspen tree, and that red Virginia Creeper I love the color.
Enjoy!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

The Dresden Plate

Just a quick note. I have left my Dresden plate quilt with a lady to have it machine quilted. I was pleased to hear she not only liked it, but even complemented me on my work.
  I have chosen an acorn and oak leaf pattern to be used to quilt the top to the bottom. The center of the plate will have the acorn and the oak leaves will spiral outwards from there into the plate color changes. There will also be the oak leaf and acorn motif in the border. I am excited to see it finished. You will be able to see the design on the back as it is a solid white.
  I like acorns and oak leaves. Just a fancy of mine. So when I get it back in a month or so, I'll post pictures so you can see. Now I can move on to my French nosegay quilt, and a couple of smaller ones.

Moving on!

I do not dwell on something that has no resolution. I have found it is a waste of time, effort, and energy. Not to mention a major drain on ones emotional being. I am sure many of you will agree with me. If I thought for one minuet, there was really something there to share, I'd wait it out and see what was to come.  I often get what was a couple of words, in the form of a statement, and nothing in the way of action to even offer any kind of hope or show of what was stated. In other wards, nothing was there to back up what was said. Years of nothing, to prove those words were true.
  Were it me, I would have been finding a way to back up what I said. Words with nothing to show the meaning is true,are just empty words.
  How many of you would have wanted a relationship, but it turned out to be so one sided, as to be nonexistent? Your told don't call, I'm busy. When I can get around to you {and that wasn't often} I'll call you. I don't call that any kind of a relationship, short of one sided at best. I couldn't share what  was happening in my life, they weren't interested. That really doesn't make a person feel very good about themselves. And that is pure negativity, at it's most destructive.
Oh ,I forgot, you did have the privilege to hear all about their problems. So your short time on with them, was all about them. No wonder they don't know you.
  As I get older I find myself becoming more introspect. I watch and learn from other people, but most of all I apply the 10 years in therapy, and all I learned from therapy. If you work at it, and I went into it with an open mind determined to come out of it, with a much better understanding of what was going on in my life and with me.
  The Doc. stated to me once, he had never had anyone not only learn, but apply what they learned.
  With that in mind I feel confident to move on, and and face what is to come, alone.
Alone is not a dirty word. If some of you have bought into the reasoning, that no-one should be alone, try this on for size.
  I am alone because......  I enjoy the quiet.
                                            I have the time to do what I want to, without interference.
                                            I ow no-one my time, effort or energy.
                                            I can do as I please, without having to ask permission of anyone.
                                            my time has value.
And so on. I am sure you can come up with many, many more. These first few, are the ones that people who do not have any of this and wish they did, will try their best to make you think they are not good for you, or it's something you shouldn't be doing. Trying to shame you into forgoing all the above, and making them the director of your decisions.
  Devious minds can come up with many things, and over the years I have bought into it all. 
  "If something is worth doing, it's worth doing right." That also includes.... using what you have, and are to the best of what you can be and do. I am alone, I will use it to the best of my advantage. I do not need to fill the space with empty offers. They most often hide, needs of someone else's desires, and use what I have, that they most often want.
  Show me something of worth for me. If I am exchanging something of value, then do not offer me something of little or no worth. And my time is of value.
  With that in mind..... may you use your time wisely. And if you are alone, reach out and embrace it, explore it... you will find riches beyond belief.

I dip my pen, in the pool beside the quietness of one.
Where the soul knows peace.
And the mind knows freedom.
Deirdre

Friday, September 5, 2008

The Keltic Knot is a Memoir

Basically of my life as I see it and remember it.
Definitions of a Memoir:
  A notice of something remembered or deemed noteworthy:
  An account of transactions or events written familiarly.
A biographical notice or autobiography
Recollections of one's life
Worthy to be remembered 
A brief entry in a diary
A written representation of facts made to a person
To cause to be remembered; to record;to hand down to memory by writing.
The power,capacity, or faculty of the mind by which it retains the knowledge of past events or ideas; that faculty which enables us to treasure up and preserve for future use the knowledge which we acquire.
Recollection and remembrance are exercises of the faculty memory,the former being a calling to mind, the latter a holding in mind; while reminiscence always, and recollections often, are used of the thing remembered.

The above provided by the New Webster Encyclopedic Dictionary.

 I provided this as a way of explanation of this blog. What someone gleans from my memoirs, be it helpful or just entertaining is purely personal on their part. I am not some kind of monitor to everyone else's life. In other words it's not my place to tell anyone what they should or should not do. I can only control and answer for my life. If I choose to share my memories on line, and I felt this was a wonderful way to reach many people, not just one person, then I have the freedom to do so.{And just for the record- there have been people who have conveyed to me how much they enjoy reading this blog}
Someone was thinking, I wrote all this just for her, against her, to show her in a bad light? 
When will you wake up, and realize, what I do, say ,think, feel does not revolve around you. Neither do I need you to tell me what I can or can't do. I did not ask you to monitor me or my life.
  What I do, say, think, feel, where I go, choose to do or not do, is not up to you. Never has been, never will be your call.
  I would think you would have better things to do, then to continually criticize me.
At the start, you jumped right in with negative remarks, and you continue in the same vein.
Is it so very hard to say something nice? Or at least try to convey your remarks in a more positive way. Must you tear everything apart, to suit your fancy?
  So far I have not done this to you {and don't go looking for what you think is the same as you have done to me, as you have so far not asked a single question about anything you have read on this site. By way of explanation, you might have found out something completely different then what you thought.}
You are not my judge, jury,confessor,confidant, or do you even know me. I asked for a year, I got a short six months. A lot has changed sense then. You asked about none of that, nor anything else for that matter.
 You have offered me nothing but to criticize what, how, and when I do anything, and it's not even  your call.
This is why I have kept my distance.
  I wanted something better, with more meaning, between us.
I told you once, life that is in the past, has been lived and cannot be wiped away just because you don't care to look at it, or face it.
I can live and be and do as I see fit, just as you may do the same for you.
I never tell anyone they have to do as I say, and that applies to you as well. I have told you many times, if there is something I share with you that you find of use, then I'm glad, use it if you so choose." I can tell you what I think, what you do with it is up to you."
I do not conjure up some kind of illusion, and tell everyone it's a rule they should follow.
This is no confessional. And you only dwelt on what you perceived to be a " communication of  frustration," and your judgment of giving people the wrong idea.
Who asked you to judge me?
As I have told people read, enjoy, if it helps you or enlightens you in some way, then I am glad I shared my MEMOIRs. Because I do not have the ability {nor care to for that matter} to monitor everyone who comes and reads what I write, neither am I responsible for what they think.
Writers, write stories real and imaginary every day and they are published, and read by many people. How can you possibly apply your ideas to these people? It doesn't wash, and it doesn't apply to me either. It's your own personal idea about writing, not any kind of rule everyone should apply to their selves.

For the rest of you, As I have stated before, I am sharing the benefit of my knowledge, my personal understanding of what my life has been as well as what I have learned. If it helps you I'm glad, if you enjoyed reading this, I hope it went a long way toward a better day for you.
My memoirs are here for you to read, and I for one will not judge you, for your opinions.
We share one common thing.... the freedom to do as we see fit. In other wards, the freedom to decide.

I choose the road less traveled by.
May the road you choose suit your hearts desire.

I lay no claim to being anything other then what I am, and my life has been full at times distracting. But I have achieved many, many things of note. I do not feel the need to drag them all out to display them in front of you as a way of proving how great I am. I am just me, old fashioned, down to earth, and straight from the heart.
To everyone who has read this, this will be the last time I will address this issue.
I have other things I prefer to talk about here. Thank you for your indulgence. I hope I haven't wasted your time, as I am sure I have wasted mine.

May your life's story be worthy of at least a footnote in heaven.
Blessings be,
Deirdre

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

A look backwards in Time

  I sit here this morning, looking backwards, over the years,, seeing all that went on in my life, and I have to wonder, just how important family is to a person. I was taught it was very important. But is it really? As nothing, or no one stays the same for their whole life, I have from time to time removed myself from my family {and I mean MY family- i.e.: the daughters I gave birth to} so I could get breathing room from them, and they could have the space to become what it was they wanted. I had a very controlling mother, who was always interfering with my relationships with other people. Later on, it was my daughters. I was not going to become like her, so.... I backed away from the girls thinking, they would understand. HA! I forgot a couple of factors in all this. Not being there to defend myself from anybody's implied remarks, would lead to the wrong idea.
I guess they thought if you could get others to agree to their warped misunderstandings, it would make it right.
  It becomes very interesting to stand there when you try to reconnect, to see just what they have decided. No matter it's not the truth. They have told the lie often enough they believe it themselves. A little bit here a little bit there, and they think they can make it be so. Well, don't believe for one minute this will work. Maybe if they were to go around telling the lie enough to all your friends and everyone they can, some people would believe it {my mother actually did this to me when I was a teenager, with all my friends.}. However, your true friends and those who care and really love you, won't listen to such nonsense, because they have been there and know you.
  Well, my mother got away with it, when I was young, because no-one would call her on it.At a later point in time, a friend of mine did call her on it. She flat out told my mother it wasn't right what she was doing. It just didn't matter to my mother, whom she was talking to, any of my friends were fair game for her lies.  I learned as a teenager not to introduce my friends to her. When I did it was more a test of the friend, to see how she would handle what she was told. Needless to say most of what my mother ever said was colored to prove something, that wasn't true.
   So then the grandkids come, and she has this "desire" to raise another child. They wouldn't let her adopt any kids {you can guess why} so what do you do? Oh I'll just take my daughters child.
 I won't go into all the details, or what all went on afterwards, to much water under the bridge.
 In trying to salvage something from the wreckage, she created I was surprised to learn some of what I did find.
 One, the only one in the family who did not have a major problem with jealousy was me.
Two, the only one who didn't want to control everything was me.
Three, the only one who cared was me.
Four, guess who learned how to be really cruel, and it's wasn't me.
Five, who wouldn't try even years ago, to make right a wrong..... I have tried, so it's not me.
Six,who wants to be of more importance then the rest of the world, Hay I just live here I don't want to control it.
Seven,Guess what you call people who do all of the above {and especially against one person}.
Hummm.... does it have something to do with that animal that with horns and a tail and goes Moooo?
Eight, just incase you missed the above answer I'll tell you. "Bullies". As I am the one getting the benefit of that treatment, I can't very well be one.

Well you get the picture. I don't argue with people any more, and any one who wants to? Sorry.  I'm busy. Am I bitter? I think they hoped I would be. lol Not happening!
I found a way to deal with all that, when I was a child, and grew up with that ability. I had to, as a lot of the problems started when I was a child. I don't know why God gave me the grace to deal with it, but he did, and no matter how much, or how often, or how those who do this wrong, try to make it a truth. They forget one thing.
The one thing that stands between right and wrong, and gives me the grace to forgive, also has forgiven me for being unable to right the wrongs.
The power of love, forgives.
The power of love endures.
The power of love sheds grace on anyone who dares to continue in the face of such adversity.
And that my dear family, is what makes me different from you, and sheds the light of truth on what you continue to do. It also frees me from any further attempts to communicate with you, or to have to stand and take the pain and heartache you have continued to overload me with.

I've made my last attempt, and now I can go and do everything I put off, or went without because I was trying to do for you.

I will remember this year as "sixty two and free of all of you." Yes, my birthday is this month.
For the first time in many, many years I feel happy inside. Habits will die hard, as I am use to worrying over family, but now I see this was another part of their game. That along with so much more will no longer be a part of my life.
  Don't you just wish, you could click a button and delete all that? lol. 
So where has all this led to? Well, it wasn't to vent on line, but rather to show by example what one can do when you face what your having to deal with, head on. I've always wanted to help those who like myself are dealt a raw deal {it only seems that way}. There is an old saying, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." And I believe that to be true. I am stronger, and no it didn't kill me to see what all they wanted everyone else to believe. If they were smart they would have remembered, there is always the other side to the story!
Well enough for today, I think I said what I wanted to say, and I hope someone out there will read this one day and say.... I wish I'd seen this sooner.
Have a good day
Deirdre